Ted’s Asperger’s

Asperger (or Asperger’s) Syndrome (AS) is considered to be a “Pervasive Developmental Disorder” (PDD) characterized by such things as significant difficulties in social interaction, restricted interests and repetitive patterns of behavior.  Although a type of autism, people with Asperger Syndrome tend to have above average intelligence and develop normally in the areas of language and cognition (the mental processes related to thinking and learning).  Some refer to Asperger’s as “a high functioning form of autism.”

A close friend of mine, who also is an optometric physician as I am, was diagnosed with Asperger’s in 2009.  Soon after his diagnosis, he told me, “Ted, if there ever was an Asperger, it’s you!  Why do you think we get along and understand each other’s idiosyncrasies so well?”  Although I had heard of Asperger’s, I was not too familiar with that condition.  He told me to do a web search for it, so I did.

After reading about Asperger Syndrome, I was amazed how it not only explained my quirky childhood, during which I often felt like a “misfit,” but also most of my behavior as an adult.  Although I have not been officially diagnosed with Asperger’s by a doctor, I have virtually no doubt that I fall into that category.

Below, you can link to a 50-statement test that gives an indication of one’s degree of autism or Asperger’s.  The average person, who of course is not autistic, will score below 17 points.  The higher the score, especially 34 points or higher, the more likely one is to have autism, Asperger’s, or a related condition.  I scored 50 out of 50.

Autism/Asperger’s Quotient (PDF) | Autism/Asperger’s Quotient (DOC)
Ted’s Results (PDF) | Ted’s Results (DOC)

In case you want to take the test, you cannot do it on your computer; you’ll need to print it out and use a pen or pencil.  Be sure to read each statement carefully.  Otherwise, it may be easy to skip over some cases of “don’t” and “not,” thereby causing you to think the statement is saying the opposite of what it says.  The way to score the test is shown after the final question.

The symptoms of Asperger Syndrome vary and can range from mild to severe.  There is no definite correlation between Asperger’s and rage or violence, nor is it typical for those with Asperger’s to take medication for the condition.  Common symptoms are included in the following seven indicators, listed on a WebMD page:

1. Problems with social skills: Children with Asperger Syndrome generally have difficulty interacting with others and often are awkward in social situations.  They generally do not make friends easily.  They have difficulty initiating and maintaining conversations, especially with people they do not know well.
   
   I’ve never had much interest in socializing with others or in cultivating friends.  Also, I usually avoid people who have expectations and make demands of me.  I do not exhibit antisocial behavior, as most people with Asperger’s do not.  However, I do tend to be asocial (avoiding social interaction), including online.  Although I have a Facebook page, I virtually never communicate with anyone there.  “Small talk” is exceedingly boring and tedious to me.
   
   As a kid, I often said and did very stupid, inane and obtuse things.  I even walked funny.  I almost always felt out of place when I was around people, including classmates at school, and I think most others thought I was “wacky.”  I also was the “butt” of a lot of jokes.
   
   As an introverted adult, I tend to have difficulty conversing aloud with people, especially with more than one person at a time and particularly those that I do not know very well.  Sometimes, I become very aloof and detached, especially when I am expected to be the center of attention.  I tend to turn the focus on another person and listen while he or she expounds on a perspective or viewpoint about some topic.
   
   Often, I cannot unify my thoughts into words; it’s like my tongue becomes disengaged from my brain.  Or else, I talk too much and tend to dominate a conversation, partly because I do not want others to feel uncomfortable due to lapses in the conversation.  By doing so, I tend to turn off people who have little or no interest in whatever I am talking about.
   
   In some social settings, like sometimes when I am conversing with more than one person at a time, I feel very pressured.  Sometimes I wish that I were somewhere else.  To a few close friends, in such situations, I have said jokingly that I’d “rather be on the far side of Pluto right now.”  Partly, this is because I feel that they are totally bored and would rather be elsewhere themselves.
   
   I’ve been told that I am being too “heavy” by focusing and obsessing so much on one topic.  Unfortunately, without plainly being told that by someone, it is difficult for me to pick up on people’s body language or other social cues and take the hint to “lighten up.”  Furthermore, sometimes the “obvious” escapes me, especially when my mind is thinking intently about something else; and I fail to react properly to nice gestures or compliments that people extend to me.  But then, compliments are irrelevant to me anyway, except from a few people who are very close to me.
   
   Often, I can “socialize” and relate more easily to animals than to people.  I like all animals, and most people’s animals like me almost immediately and tend to gravitate to me once they get to know me.  However, I have no interest in having my own pets, as they are too much responsibility and distract me from my routines.  People should not own pets if they are negligent in caring for them and will not give them regular and meaningful attention.  I feel that it is thoughtless and inconsiderate to own pets when they are neglected or when someone else bears much of the responsibility of caring for them.
   
   I do not like telephones.  I usually will not speak to anyone I do not know on the phone, unless it is an emergency.  It is even uncommon that I will talk on the phone with most people that I know, not because I do not like them but mainly because a phone conversation is a social situation for me, and I am liable to screw it up because “my brain does not connect to my tongue” very well, especially when I feel pressured to talk. There are a handful of close friends that I do not mind talking with on the phone because they undertand how my brain works and have accepted me as I am.
   
   I can type or write my thoughts much more readily and easily than I can speak them.  When I am alone and writing, I do not feel the pressure that I experience when I am talking face-to-face or by phone with someone.  I am able to have a conversation more easily with a trusted friend, though, than I am with someone I do not know very well.
   
   
2. Eccentric or repetitive behaviors: Children with this condition may develop odd, repetitive movements, such as hand wringing or finger twisting.
   
   I always have had almost an uncontrollable urge to move my feet and legs back and forth or up and down when I am seated.  I can keep them still if I want to, but I usually prefer to move them.
   
   I used to have a tendency to tap or rub my fingers together, repetitively, if they were not being used for something else (like typing).  I also used to have frequent weird facial twitches and head movements.  These took me decades to overcome.
   
   
3. Unusual preoccupations or rituals: A child with Asperger Syndrome may develop rituals that he or she refuses to alter, such as getting dressed in a specific order.
   
   On an average day, I have almost exactly the same routine.  I always put on my clothes in a specific order.  I thought everybody did.   Also, I virtually always wear something blue, which is my favorite color.
   
   I almost always eat the same meal during the day, which is both breakfast and lunch: fruit, oats, a crispy tostada with peanut butter, and one cup of coffee.  Most people don’t eat orange peels, but I do.  It takes me several hours to eat it, since I do other things at the same time.  This has been my standard daily meal for decades.
   
   I have virtually zero interest in TV shows or movies for purely entertainment purposes, although sometimes I watch Christian TV such as GLC (https://glc.us.com) or occasional videos online.  I feel it is important to keep up with significant national and world news events daily.  I usually get my news from radio talk shows and from certain websites.  I also like the AFR Christian radio station (https://afr.net).
   
   I do not like to cook (even though I like what I cook when I do it), so for dinner I often will eat the same thing for a couple of weeks or longer—such as homemade chicken and vegetable soup (see recipe) or meat and vegetable lasagna (see recipe)—until it is gone.  Then I will make a huge batch of the same thing or something else so I can eat that for the next few weeks.  I rarely eat out, though, because I am a “tight wad” on a strict budget.
   
   These are just a few of the same things that I do regularly.  It is difficult for me when my daily routines or specific plans are interrupted by other people or by unexpected events.  As a result, I sometimes may be perceived as being impolite or even disrespectful, because I may be inattentive to people’s needs or expectations when I am intently focused on something else that I am doing or need to do.  I generally do not multi-task very well when I suddenly am expected to do something outside of my regular routine.
   
   
4. Communication difficulties: People with Asperger Syndrome may not make eye contact when speaking with someone.  They may have trouble interpreting facial expressions and gestures and understanding body language.  They also tend to have problems understanding language in context.
   
   As a kid, I tended not to make eye contact with people with whom I was conversing, especially people I did not know very well.  Over the decades, I have worked to overcome this, as I have come to understand the importance of maintaining eye contact when talking and listening to someone.  Like other “norms,” though, it does not come naturally to me, but it is easier for me to do it with close friends.
   
   I have had to learn how to interpret people’s facial expressions and body language, although I still misconstrue these sometimes.  At times, I have a tendency to go on and on about something that interests me, even if the person listening to me (usually someone I know pretty well) is being bored into unconsciousness.  I may not catch on that it’s time to shut up unless the person is yawning or looking at his/her watch.
   
   Furthermore, I tend to take people’s words and phrases literally.  Usually, I cannot tell if someone is joking around unless I know the person well.  Sometimes I do not “get” jokes until they are explained to me.  Even then, I tend to find inane and obtuse jokes to be dull and unamusing.
   
   
5. Limited range of interests: A child with Asperger Syndrome may develop an intense, almost obsessive, interest in a few areas, such as sports schedules, weather, or maps.
   
   In fourth grade, my teacher had perfect penmanship.  I was totally compelled to match her writing that I saw on the chalkboard, so I spent much of my free time practicing until my handwriting matched hers.  I think that, typically, poor handwriting tends to be an Asperger trait; but in my case, having legible handwriting was one of my main fixations.
   
   Unfamiliar activities and people tend to bore me; so I try to avoid them, when possible.  I have a narrow range of activities that I like to do: run around the track or go to the gym, view shows that include biblical teachings, read the Bible, keep up with national and international news and do various projects on my computer.  I also have projects that I do around the house and yard sometimes, but I usually get them done as quickly as possible so that I can return to my regular routine.
   
   I tend to avoid public places most of the time, other than to shop for food or other necessities.  I do not like crowds, other than occasionally at events where I am under no pressure to communicate or interact with anyone, such as at football or basketball games.
   
   I thoroughly enjoy being alone, although I take great comfort in knowing that the Lord God, who created me and is my best Friend, is always with me.  He is the only one who completely understands me because He made me.  No one else fully does, nor do I expect them to.
   
   
6. Coordination problems: The movements of children with Asperger Syndrome may seem clumsy or awkward.
   
   Growing up, I never was very good at sports.  I’ve always been too uncoordinated to perform spontaneous and unplanned movements, as in organized sports games.  Plus, team sports never interested me because I always felt like I had to connect and interact with others on the team, which I lacked an interest in doing.  I probably would have been good at track, since it involves doing the same thing—putting one foot in front of the other—repeatedly, plus I’ve always been pretty fast on my feet.
   
   The only “sport,” if it can be called that, in which I’ve ever enjoyed participating is bowling.  I’ve liked bowling since I was 4 years old.  It involves doing the same exact routine—picking up a ball and rolling it—over and over again.  I can relate to that, and there are no unexpected surprises (unless the 7-10 split pops up).  When I was bowling regularly (although now it is rarely), I usually carried a 185-190 average.  My highest game ever was 279 (all strikes except one spare).
   
   
7. Skilled or talented: Many children with Asperger Syndrome are exceptionally talented or skilled in a particular area, such as music or math.
   
   I began playing the trumpet in high school.  It came pretty naturally.  I went through college (in three years) on a trumpet scholarship playing in the band.  I haven’t touched my trumpet since then.  I played piano for many years and won some competitions.  For 3 years as a teen, I played the violin and was the concertmaster of the community orchestra.  I haven’t played an instrument in decades, though.  Growing up, I tended to lose interest in most activities after awhile and then intently focus on new ones for several years.  Basically, I am a “been there, done that” type of person.  The main thing that remains constant and consistent in my life is my strong and deep relationship with God.
   
   In university, I majored in mathematics, which was very logical and straightforward to me.  In optometry school, I was a whiz at optics and other classes that involved calculations.  I practiced optometry for 11¼ years.  My last day of work was January 10, 1991.  I enjoyed examining the human eye, and I was competent and thorough during the years I was doing it; at least, I was told by many of my patients and the people I worked with that I was.
   
   My main problem was that the eyes I examined were attached to human patients, and I had to learn how to interact with them on a daily basis.  Although I learned to do that well, it never came naturally.  I would have rather examined robots with no emotions or personal issues, as I relate to almost no one very well on a “touchy, feely, huggy” basis.  Although my interest in practicing eye care eventually diminished, I did create the Anatomy, Physiology & Pathology of the Human Eye section of my website a few years later to benefit others.
   
   After quitting my job (although remaining licensed to practice), I became very focused on my real love, which was and continues to be learning more about God and the Bible.  After reading the Bible from cover to cover a couple of times, I wrote a 15-chapter book in the early 90s (although I have modified some of my views since then).  In more recent years, I have written some Bible commentaries and numerous responses to people’s email questions.
   
   Every so often I read the Bible again, from Genesis to Revelation (which I have done over 20 times), gaining many new insights each time that I do it.  I particularly am fascinated with the way God that has interacted with Israel and with those who are grafted and re-grafted into Israel.  I also am completely captivated by this great and amazing Creation, which was conceived of by the wonderful Mind of the Father.  I am absolutely and totally fascinated with His infinite details, all of which are exact, precise and perfect.  For all eternity, I never will be bored learning more about Him and His magnificent details.

Asperger’s seems to have helped me “streamline” my life.  I don’t need “things” to make me happy, so as a rule I purchase only items that I need (mostly food) and only occasionally things that I want, which are few.  This helps keep me within my tight budget.

I have a fixation on details when I create pages at my website, as I tend to be a perfectionist (which is not to say that the things I write are error-free).  Everything we do as humans can be improved if we will review tasks that we’ve just completed.  Punctuation, grammar and spelling are very important to me.  I strive to be as clear as possible in the words and phrases I write, so I reread a page at least two or three times before posting it.  This does not always result in the elimination of all errors, so I appreciate people’s notifying me of mistakes that they might notice in my typed text.

I also am a “time freak.”  I often use an online clock to set my watch correctly to the nearest second.  Sometimes I reset the clocks in other people’s homes and cars if the clocks are slow.  It is difficult for me to concentrate on anything as long as any clock that I can see is slow, although a little fast is fine.  Furthermore, it is important to me, when I commit to being somewhere at a specific time, to be there early or on-time.  I expect the same from others as well.

Most of all, I feel that my intense interest in God and His written Word continues to draw me closer and closer to Him.  I have strong beliefs and faith, and I like to share them with others, via my website, although I have no interest in trying to compel others to believe as I do about issues.

As for questions people ask me about things they read at my website, I have no interest at all in engaging in ongoing, back-and-forth dialogues with anyone about anything, whether to attempt to convince them of my views or vice versa.  I feel that others have the freedom to believe whatever they choose to believe.  I feel that, ultimately, those whom God has predestined and preordained to believe in Him will do so.

I feel that my Asperger Syndrome has caused me to be a very independent thinker.  I do not like for others to try to control my thinking, and I feel that others should think for themselves as well.  Right or wrong, I am unlikely to change.